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Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2026 8:35 am
to further on. To come to being light like this, and to become such light
Americans. And it’s as if everything’s heading towards exactly this. But I noticed
it and was astonished. Then I began to analyse what happened with me in 2017 —
the very thing happened that has happened now, and I don’t understand how this
is connected.
In 2017, as it turns out, the first time, in February or at the end of January, I visited
New York, at Trump’s inauguration. And then I already moved to New York, in
the middle of the summer of 2017. And back then I was all such — as if there are
no thoughts, but at the same time it’s not that I’m without thoughts yet deflated;
rather, it’s as if, on the contrary, I’m shining, and strong energy comes right off
me, insane happiness, insane self-sufficiency, confidence. And people didn’t
understand who I was. Wherever I went, no one could tear their gaze away from
me, and everyone looked at me, and everywhere, all over the world, wherever I
was: and so it was in New York, and in Russia, and in Petersburg, and in Moscow.
And many people even asked: was I an actor or a star, or who was I? Many spoke
English with me, thinking I wasn’t Russian, when I was there in Russia. It was
very unusual, and this was the whole of 2017, this was 2018, this was 2019. And
that was it, and then it ended. Possibly in the middle of 2020. And so I was
already charged up like that. And here’s the question: this charged-up state I was
in — from what? Because of America, does it switch me on like that, or do I plug
into it like that? Why? I don’t understand. Or is it simply such a coincidence,
that America is, after all, already a consequence, and the cause is in something
else — that first, for some reason, I would become like this, and then that’s why
I’d end up there, because I’d end up in such a world, and everything gets drawn
in from that world? Maybe it’s something like that?
Well, how can it be, imagine, that I, let’s say, look at couples of twenty-five- to
thirty-five-year-old kids who already have these boy-and-girl relationships.
I see that each has his own, every creature its mate, everyone’s found himself
a match. A vain girl found a vain guy. An envious, greedy girl found herself an
envious, greedy one. There they are, dressing the same, throwing dust in people’s
eyes the same, judging people the same, and surviving the same, the same way
trying to seem as though their life is wonderful, and showing this to everyone.
Americans. And it’s as if everything’s heading towards exactly this. But I noticed
it and was astonished. Then I began to analyse what happened with me in 2017 —
the very thing happened that has happened now, and I don’t understand how this
is connected.
In 2017, as it turns out, the first time, in February or at the end of January, I visited
New York, at Trump’s inauguration. And then I already moved to New York, in
the middle of the summer of 2017. And back then I was all such — as if there are
no thoughts, but at the same time it’s not that I’m without thoughts yet deflated;
rather, it’s as if, on the contrary, I’m shining, and strong energy comes right off
me, insane happiness, insane self-sufficiency, confidence. And people didn’t
understand who I was. Wherever I went, no one could tear their gaze away from
me, and everyone looked at me, and everywhere, all over the world, wherever I
was: and so it was in New York, and in Russia, and in Petersburg, and in Moscow.
And many people even asked: was I an actor or a star, or who was I? Many spoke
English with me, thinking I wasn’t Russian, when I was there in Russia. It was
very unusual, and this was the whole of 2017, this was 2018, this was 2019. And
that was it, and then it ended. Possibly in the middle of 2020. And so I was
already charged up like that. And here’s the question: this charged-up state I was
in — from what? Because of America, does it switch me on like that, or do I plug
into it like that? Why? I don’t understand. Or is it simply such a coincidence,
that America is, after all, already a consequence, and the cause is in something
else — that first, for some reason, I would become like this, and then that’s why
I’d end up there, because I’d end up in such a world, and everything gets drawn
in from that world? Maybe it’s something like that?
Well, how can it be, imagine, that I, let’s say, look at couples of twenty-five- to
thirty-five-year-old kids who already have these boy-and-girl relationships.
I see that each has his own, every creature its mate, everyone’s found himself
a match. A vain girl found a vain guy. An envious, greedy girl found herself an
envious, greedy one. There they are, dressing the same, throwing dust in people’s
eyes the same, judging people the same, and surviving the same, the same way
trying to seem as though their life is wonderful, and showing this to everyone.