Page 469
Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2026 8:35 am
And when you’re talking with this person, he has no ulterior thought, he
doesn’t think about himself, he doesn’t try anything on his own account. And
he’s maximally pure and clear, 100 out of 100%. As you say something, he
sees everything, where you’ve stretched the truth. He sees that you’re telling
something, leaving something unsaid — he feels it and sees how you’ve concealed
something, left something unsaid. He sees how you’re talking with him for
the sake of asking him for a certain something right now. He sees everything.
But at the same time he has towards you neither grievance, nor aggression,
nor resentment, nor appraisal. And he’s as if God, the Spirit, as if through
him God is looking at you. And he answers wisely. But he’s simply here and
now, and you’re talking with him. Whereas if you were to talk this way with a
CIS person, he’s got his own thoughts of some kind there, leaves something
unsaid, keeps thinking about himself, and he’s got this heaviness, as if he’s
got a boulder on his soul, a boulder on his chest. And he keeps peering into
this boulder while communicating with you, and fitting it in there — will it suit
him, this thing you’re advising him, is it any good to him? And that thing you
want there — what profit is there in it for him? What if you want to use him?
And it’s all so dark, heavy like that. Yes, but this is a stage. That is, it can’t be
condemned, it’s simply a stage. But I must show you, in comparison, the stages
of people’s development — who’s at which stage, how it tends to be for them,
how each one feels himself, who perceives the world how. And I’m describing
this comparison right now.
I want to also recall when I felt myself this way. Was it, after all, only for the first
time in my life like this, when I was in America? No. I recall that I was like this
earlier too. I was like this at 18, and at 19, and at 20. That is, there were certain
periods, but such small ones, when I could for half a year or so go into some
human extreme somehow. As if because of a person — that it’s as if when I’m
not connected with anyone, I’d shine like this, as the Spirit, all the time from
childhood. But when I’d begin to interact with someone and get attached, and
someone would get attached to me, then because of someone I’d get thrown off
into one of the four sides, that is, into one of the extremes. And I could end up
somewhere off the mark, from which thoughts could appear — well, that’s it, I’d
become humanized, I’d become humanized. And so, the way I understand it,
doesn’t think about himself, he doesn’t try anything on his own account. And
he’s maximally pure and clear, 100 out of 100%. As you say something, he
sees everything, where you’ve stretched the truth. He sees that you’re telling
something, leaving something unsaid — he feels it and sees how you’ve concealed
something, left something unsaid. He sees how you’re talking with him for
the sake of asking him for a certain something right now. He sees everything.
But at the same time he has towards you neither grievance, nor aggression,
nor resentment, nor appraisal. And he’s as if God, the Spirit, as if through
him God is looking at you. And he answers wisely. But he’s simply here and
now, and you’re talking with him. Whereas if you were to talk this way with a
CIS person, he’s got his own thoughts of some kind there, leaves something
unsaid, keeps thinking about himself, and he’s got this heaviness, as if he’s
got a boulder on his soul, a boulder on his chest. And he keeps peering into
this boulder while communicating with you, and fitting it in there — will it suit
him, this thing you’re advising him, is it any good to him? And that thing you
want there — what profit is there in it for him? What if you want to use him?
And it’s all so dark, heavy like that. Yes, but this is a stage. That is, it can’t be
condemned, it’s simply a stage. But I must show you, in comparison, the stages
of people’s development — who’s at which stage, how it tends to be for them,
how each one feels himself, who perceives the world how. And I’m describing
this comparison right now.
I want to also recall when I felt myself this way. Was it, after all, only for the first
time in my life like this, when I was in America? No. I recall that I was like this
earlier too. I was like this at 18, and at 19, and at 20. That is, there were certain
periods, but such small ones, when I could for half a year or so go into some
human extreme somehow. As if because of a person — that it’s as if when I’m
not connected with anyone, I’d shine like this, as the Spirit, all the time from
childhood. But when I’d begin to interact with someone and get attached, and
someone would get attached to me, then because of someone I’d get thrown off
into one of the four sides, that is, into one of the extremes. And I could end up
somewhere off the mark, from which thoughts could appear — well, that’s it, I’d
become humanized, I’d become humanized. And so, the way I understand it,