Page 488
Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2026 8:40 am
What I’ve begun to notice, while I’m like this — and this was there before too, and
a friend just pointed it out to me, confirmed that it’s truly so. Before, when I was
the Spirit, I always looked off to the side when I answered questions or described
something, I looked off to the side. But in reality it was as if I was looking deep
into myself. And now I’ve got the same theme. Now I’m talking, and I don’t
look at the person, but look somewhere off to the side, into nowhere, when I’m
speaking with him. And now, when I likewise reflect, write notes, record audio
notes, I look off to the side, into nowhere. And so it was with me before, I wrote
about this in my rough drafts, diaries, books, and now it’s happening again.
And the second thing they also pointed out, and this too was so strong precisely
in 2017, when I’d walk down the street or enter a restaurant, I remember a girl
telling me: “Alex, you just came out of the restroom in the restaurant, and it feels
as though you’re the owner of this restaurant, and they, there — that man. And
everyone’s looking at you, and you steal attention so, as if you’re just the boss.”
And I remember, everyone told me this. And now it’s come back again, and it’s so
strong that I walked into an expensive restaurant, here I’m talking with a friend,
and he recalls that 10 years ago it was the same, and he says:
— Astonishing, just like before.
— What?
— It’s this — you’re as if, you know, this field of the restaurant, it’s kind of big,
and a person enters into it, and we’ve just arrived, and your field is so much
bigger than this restaurant that this restaurant is as if made of plastic, as if
we’re simply sitting at a table, and nothing else exists: no people, no, no staff,
nothing at all, nothing, it’s astonishing.
— Yes, you feel what a power it is?
— There’s nothing, it’s as if there’s nothing higher than you.
— Yes.
Can you imagine? And so it was like this before. Everyone always told me that
I’ve got this field, energy, such a power. And thoughts, he says, switch off right
away. That is, I go into public places… And, what’s also interesting, when I’m in
the Spirit, on the contrary, I’m more out in society, I go right into the crowd. But
when I’m in this crowd, or in a shopping complex, or in a hotel, or in a restaurant,
a friend just pointed it out to me, confirmed that it’s truly so. Before, when I was
the Spirit, I always looked off to the side when I answered questions or described
something, I looked off to the side. But in reality it was as if I was looking deep
into myself. And now I’ve got the same theme. Now I’m talking, and I don’t
look at the person, but look somewhere off to the side, into nowhere, when I’m
speaking with him. And now, when I likewise reflect, write notes, record audio
notes, I look off to the side, into nowhere. And so it was with me before, I wrote
about this in my rough drafts, diaries, books, and now it’s happening again.
And the second thing they also pointed out, and this too was so strong precisely
in 2017, when I’d walk down the street or enter a restaurant, I remember a girl
telling me: “Alex, you just came out of the restroom in the restaurant, and it feels
as though you’re the owner of this restaurant, and they, there — that man. And
everyone’s looking at you, and you steal attention so, as if you’re just the boss.”
And I remember, everyone told me this. And now it’s come back again, and it’s so
strong that I walked into an expensive restaurant, here I’m talking with a friend,
and he recalls that 10 years ago it was the same, and he says:
— Astonishing, just like before.
— What?
— It’s this — you’re as if, you know, this field of the restaurant, it’s kind of big,
and a person enters into it, and we’ve just arrived, and your field is so much
bigger than this restaurant that this restaurant is as if made of plastic, as if
we’re simply sitting at a table, and nothing else exists: no people, no, no staff,
nothing at all, nothing, it’s astonishing.
— Yes, you feel what a power it is?
— There’s nothing, it’s as if there’s nothing higher than you.
— Yes.
Can you imagine? And so it was like this before. Everyone always told me that
I’ve got this field, energy, such a power. And thoughts, he says, switch off right
away. That is, I go into public places… And, what’s also interesting, when I’m in
the Spirit, on the contrary, I’m more out in society, I go right into the crowd. But
when I’m in this crowd, or in a shopping complex, or in a hotel, or in a restaurant,