Page 489
Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2026 8:40 am
it’s so strong that it doesn’t even matter how I look, but people can’t tear their gaze
away from me, and everyone feels something but doesn’t understand what — as
if they’ve recognized me. And everyone falls into this field, everyone’s thoughts
switch off. And imagine, I’m sitting in a restaurant, and people simply walk by
and can’t tear their eyes away, and everyone turns around, glances back five times,
and everyone looks, and we’re already laughing to the point of hysterics, to tears,
and watching this, what on earth is happening. And this was just yesterday. That
is, that’s how strong it is.
Another thing that happens is that it’s as if I look to see who new will be
highlighted for me, a new place, a new person. I look around just like that: where,
who will be highlighted for me, a place or a person, or an object. That’s how I
search for everything new, that which exists in this world. And all the old I’ve let
go. That’s another approach I have. And it’s so interesting — I wrote before in my
books too, that when you become spiritual, then people return, either forgotten
old ones or new ones. But not the ones who were quite recent. This too is unusual,
something to take on note.
Another funny thing. I remember, when I was strong, charged up like that,
there were periods when it — it’s as if it gets regulated, kind of like an equalizer:
sometimes my Spirit is weaker, sometimes stronger. I’ll never forget. I had an
employee. We’re driving in the car, with a driver, and this employee is in the back
with me. We’re driving in the car along Nevsky Prospect in Petersburg. And it just
so happened by chance that we’re driving past the Church of Peter and Paul on
Nevsky Prospect, No. 22. My lady friend was there — an acquaintance — she jumps
into the car with us, into the front seat, next to the driver. She’s riding with us and
looks so shocked, with amazement, with bulging eyes. I say: “Anya, what’s wrong
with you?” She says: “Astonishing! It’s as if I just ended up in a different film.”
I ask: “What do you mean?” “Well, it’s as if I ended up in a different world. But
there’s something entirely — there, there are people, fuss, as if there’s time there,
there’s air, but here there’s nothing. As if I’m in some kind of capsule entirely.
What’s happening?” I say: “Well, there you go, you’re in my world.” And then
she turns her head towards my employee, my deputy, and he’s sitting — it was
funny, like in the films — looking somewhere at the floor, at his feet, and he says:
away from me, and everyone feels something but doesn’t understand what — as
if they’ve recognized me. And everyone falls into this field, everyone’s thoughts
switch off. And imagine, I’m sitting in a restaurant, and people simply walk by
and can’t tear their eyes away, and everyone turns around, glances back five times,
and everyone looks, and we’re already laughing to the point of hysterics, to tears,
and watching this, what on earth is happening. And this was just yesterday. That
is, that’s how strong it is.
Another thing that happens is that it’s as if I look to see who new will be
highlighted for me, a new place, a new person. I look around just like that: where,
who will be highlighted for me, a place or a person, or an object. That’s how I
search for everything new, that which exists in this world. And all the old I’ve let
go. That’s another approach I have. And it’s so interesting — I wrote before in my
books too, that when you become spiritual, then people return, either forgotten
old ones or new ones. But not the ones who were quite recent. This too is unusual,
something to take on note.
Another funny thing. I remember, when I was strong, charged up like that,
there were periods when it — it’s as if it gets regulated, kind of like an equalizer:
sometimes my Spirit is weaker, sometimes stronger. I’ll never forget. I had an
employee. We’re driving in the car, with a driver, and this employee is in the back
with me. We’re driving in the car along Nevsky Prospect in Petersburg. And it just
so happened by chance that we’re driving past the Church of Peter and Paul on
Nevsky Prospect, No. 22. My lady friend was there — an acquaintance — she jumps
into the car with us, into the front seat, next to the driver. She’s riding with us and
looks so shocked, with amazement, with bulging eyes. I say: “Anya, what’s wrong
with you?” She says: “Astonishing! It’s as if I just ended up in a different film.”
I ask: “What do you mean?” “Well, it’s as if I ended up in a different world. But
there’s something entirely — there, there are people, fuss, as if there’s time there,
there’s air, but here there’s nothing. As if I’m in some kind of capsule entirely.
What’s happening?” I say: “Well, there you go, you’re in my world.” And then
she turns her head towards my employee, my deputy, and he’s sitting — it was
funny, like in the films — looking somewhere at the floor, at his feet, and he says: