Page 537
Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2026 9:43 am
whisper to me, and there was a desire: I simply need to up and run away, so that it
would come back. Also something unusual. I didn’t do it. When I’d even planned
some things, and when I was in the Spirit, I believed in everything and wanted
everything, but when the Spirit left — right away you don’t want anything. You
want to cancel everything, you don’t believe in anything. Right away I wanted to
cancel my presentation that will be on May 9th. Right away I wanted to cancel
my trip to another country. You begin to recall the past, some moments or some
people. And you don’t want to forgive people when they screw up. After all, you
want to jab right at them and say: “You screwed up.”
But now for the most curious thing. When I lost the Spirit, I began to reflect on
where I’d ended up. And I understand that I supposedly shouldn’t have ended
up in the world of the moon. Let me remind once more: there’s the world of the
moon, which consists of two worlds — and even that’s still in question, or after
all of four, I don’t know. And there’s also the world of the sun, which consists of
two worlds or of four, I don’t yet know exactly. For now let’s put it this way: in the
world of the moon we have autumn-winter, that is, the underground kingdom,
the world of the dead. In the world of the sun we have spring and summer, that
is, this is heaven and earth. And since I fell down from the star, and the star is
the Spirit, as I reckoned initially, then I should have fallen into the world of the
sun. But I understand that for some reason there’s darkness here. If you were
to photograph the apartment I’m in right now, if you were to lay filters over
the photograph, then it’s as if you’d need to darken it by thirty percent — that
is, that’s how it has come to be perceived. And I think, strange, why darkness?
But it doesn’t resemble the world of the moon. That is, it doesn’t resemble the
world of the dead or the underground kingdom. And then I supposed this:
what if I’ve returned to the world of people, to the world of the sun, and it too
is already in darkness, the darkness has already covered everything… Both the
moon and the sun, everything altogether. That’s what I supposed. And maybe all
people are already in darkness. That is, first Baphomet, Morok, and Mara came
for those who were under the moon, and now they’ve come for those under the
sun too, since everyone must take part in this judgment. In the Last Judgment.
That’s what I supposed at first.
would come back. Also something unusual. I didn’t do it. When I’d even planned
some things, and when I was in the Spirit, I believed in everything and wanted
everything, but when the Spirit left — right away you don’t want anything. You
want to cancel everything, you don’t believe in anything. Right away I wanted to
cancel my presentation that will be on May 9th. Right away I wanted to cancel
my trip to another country. You begin to recall the past, some moments or some
people. And you don’t want to forgive people when they screw up. After all, you
want to jab right at them and say: “You screwed up.”
But now for the most curious thing. When I lost the Spirit, I began to reflect on
where I’d ended up. And I understand that I supposedly shouldn’t have ended
up in the world of the moon. Let me remind once more: there’s the world of the
moon, which consists of two worlds — and even that’s still in question, or after
all of four, I don’t know. And there’s also the world of the sun, which consists of
two worlds or of four, I don’t yet know exactly. For now let’s put it this way: in the
world of the moon we have autumn-winter, that is, the underground kingdom,
the world of the dead. In the world of the sun we have spring and summer, that
is, this is heaven and earth. And since I fell down from the star, and the star is
the Spirit, as I reckoned initially, then I should have fallen into the world of the
sun. But I understand that for some reason there’s darkness here. If you were
to photograph the apartment I’m in right now, if you were to lay filters over
the photograph, then it’s as if you’d need to darken it by thirty percent — that
is, that’s how it has come to be perceived. And I think, strange, why darkness?
But it doesn’t resemble the world of the moon. That is, it doesn’t resemble the
world of the dead or the underground kingdom. And then I supposed this:
what if I’ve returned to the world of people, to the world of the sun, and it too
is already in darkness, the darkness has already covered everything… Both the
moon and the sun, everything altogether. That’s what I supposed. And maybe all
people are already in darkness. That is, first Baphomet, Morok, and Mara came
for those who were under the moon, and now they’ve come for those under the
sun too, since everyone must take part in this judgment. In the Last Judgment.
That’s what I supposed at first.