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[Alexandr Korol]

And when you’re already the Spirit, a dark or a bright star, then all this doesn’t
matter a bit to you, all these human caprices. What difference does it make? In
the Spirit you know exactly what to do. You feel the response inside: what’s yes,
what’s no, and you do everything with full confidence. You always know what
to do. This bright Spirit, the bright star, leads you. But now, when this star has
switched off for me, or has become the shadow one, then I don’t know what to
do. It’s as if it’s altogether unclear whether to leave the house or not to leave,
to fly somewhere or to cancel all my affairs, because you feel nothing. Such an
emptiness. You don’t even understand… You feel nothing. With that bright star
everything’s on feelings, whereas here it’s unclear on what. Probably only on
memory and logic, because here there’s no feeling, it’s switched off. You’re as
if a fir tree with a garland, with a star on its crown — you’ve got a star up there,
but nothing’s burning. The electricity’s been cut off. And that’s why the melody
doesn’t play and nothing shines. And that’s how I feel myself. As if the light in
your apartment or house went out right now, the television switched off, the
music, and just such a silence and emptiness. And that’s how I feel right now. And
what to do? I don’t know… You’ve lit a candle, and you sit there and wait for the
light to be switched back on. It’s as if it’s more a process of some kind of waiting,
rather than a striving towards action.

Among the things often highlighted for me… This was so both when I was in
the Spirit and now, when I’m not in the Spirit… That I must now correct all
the mistakes in my matrix, in the structure of these four worlds: morning,
day, evening, night, that is, spring, summer, autumn, winter. It all needs
to be regrouped anew, but now without a mistake. That system which rules
me deliberately made a mistake and set this aside for last, so that when this
novel comes to an end, I’d correct this mistake and the philosopher’s stone
would be found. And there are mistakes there about what is opposite to what
and what relates to what. That is, it’s grouped incorrectly. And the first thing
that was highlighted for me: summer, that is, day — this isn’t earth, but fire.
But look how convincing it was, because the Spirit, the system, did it — how
convincing it was before, so that no one had any doubts that earth is day and
summer. And everyone was certain a hundred percent, as was I, that night,
that is, winter, is the ether, the dodecahedron. But now, if you break it down,