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[Alexandr Korol]

or it can be called the shadow. Let’s put it this way: I’m in the shadow. Maybe it’s
a matter of there being you physical, created, in the Spirit, a star… Because the
light falls on you, but from such a star there must always be something opposite
all the same, and I’ve now become this opposite. That is, the shadow of this
star. Maybe that’s what it’s about? I don’t know. How do I feel in this world? As
if dead. As if I’m dead, everyone has forgotten me, I’ve forgotten everyone, I’m
not there. I don’t understand where I am, in what city, in what country — even
if I look out the window, I see nothing, as if there’s nothing in the window, as if
I’m simply in some kind of box, simply in a room without windows and doors.
That is, it’s something like that. Right now, from telling all this in a structured
way, breaking it down, I’ve become hot, I’ll honestly admit, but in general the
whole time it was cool and cold. That is, in the Spirit you’re always hot, whereas
when you’re in the shadow, on the contrary, it’s cold. Logical. But right now I’ve
become hot. Maybe the Spirit is coming back from my telling about all this, I
don’t know. But I clearly felt that it’s already time to structure it all and put it on
record in the eleventh volume.

When you’re in the world of the Spirit and you’re talking with a bum, with a
vagrant, or with some drug addict or beggar there, then you love all these people.
Really. All these people are so clear to you, it’s as if you’ve lived their life and
understand them. You don’t have a drop of condemnation, of grievances, or of
revulsion towards them, when you’re in the Spirit. And even any little thief,
hooligan — even towards them there’s complete acceptance and understanding.
No appraisal and no comparison, no condemnation, when you’re in the Spirit,
a star. And here you likewise have no grievances towards anyone, you don’t
want to punish anyone, condemn or scold them, as is the custom in the world
of people. That is, all the same it’s some kind of world of not-people, which is
important. This too is some kind of Spirit, but simply the shadow. But here it’s
likewise the case that whatever people are, that’s what they are, and it doesn’t
matter at all what they’re like. Also no grievances, as if you’re altogether… That
is, you can’t focus on it. It kind of doesn’t matter. It’s all human, only with people:
this I eat, this I don’t eat, this I like, this I don’t like, this is convenient, this is
inconvenient, this I’ll put on, this I won’t, this person is good, and that one
bad, this film I’ll watch, and this one I won’t, and this one I watched recently…
This is only with people. They’re unhappy from it.