Page 654
Posted: Thu Sep 17, 2026 8:40 am
I was just talking with the mystic-old-man. Today is May 12th. I can specify once
again that I’m in the Spirit, and very strongly, really strongly. It comes in different
forms, but right now I’m drawing precisely this association with how it was when
I was writing the third volume. It was the same period of time. It turns out I was in
the States, celebrated New Year’s and Christmas there, came back, then in April
I was in Cambodia. And precisely from May, at exactly the same time, I began
to feel strange: as if every day is a different day. I kept not understanding: now
I’m in one world, now in another, now in a third. Now it’s one kind of music that
steals my attention, now another, now I can’t focus on anything at all. But back
then, in the third volume, I kept writing about the futuristic, about how there are
these, it turns out, multiverses — that is, there are different simulations. And each
influences a person differently. And I would end up in all these worlds. Right
now it’s happening on some more global level, this flickering — that is, already
at the level of the Spirit, not as, let’s say, some guest in one of the worlds, but as
if I’m the boss now of one world, now of another, and I end up everywhere there.
And I can say quite clearly that on May 9th I was one person. On May 10th I was
another. On May 11th I was a third. On May 12th I’m yet another. And there’s
literally happening, as Big Alexander likes to call it, some kind of mutation and
transformation. That is, I don’t understand how much time has passed. I don’t
understand what time it is now. Clearly, I can look at the clock, but at the same
time I’m precisely in an intoxication — there’s no other way to call it. That is,
when I’m not talking with anyone, it seems to subside. But today, for example, I
had a call with the publishing house. And when I was talking with the publishing
house, with the woman, then that’s it — I’m in focus, I’m super collected. As if
I’m some kind of entity altogether. But then, simply when the conversation ends,
I understand that I’ve flown off somewhere again, dropped even further, and it
all intensified so much. And acquaintances, friends also feel this state of mine,
even through text, when I write to someone, or through audio recordings.
I don’t want to jam this in any way. I sit, eat sweets, and drink water. Probably,
if I drank some Thai tea now, some super-strong one, it might help, or if I
poured myself 100 grams of whiskey, but I don’t want to. Also unusual — I don’t
want to, and I’m trying to grow accustomed, to adapt to this state I’m feeling
now. And so I decided that since I’m so “cosmic,” in the Spirit… It really is so.
again that I’m in the Spirit, and very strongly, really strongly. It comes in different
forms, but right now I’m drawing precisely this association with how it was when
I was writing the third volume. It was the same period of time. It turns out I was in
the States, celebrated New Year’s and Christmas there, came back, then in April
I was in Cambodia. And precisely from May, at exactly the same time, I began
to feel strange: as if every day is a different day. I kept not understanding: now
I’m in one world, now in another, now in a third. Now it’s one kind of music that
steals my attention, now another, now I can’t focus on anything at all. But back
then, in the third volume, I kept writing about the futuristic, about how there are
these, it turns out, multiverses — that is, there are different simulations. And each
influences a person differently. And I would end up in all these worlds. Right
now it’s happening on some more global level, this flickering — that is, already
at the level of the Spirit, not as, let’s say, some guest in one of the worlds, but as
if I’m the boss now of one world, now of another, and I end up everywhere there.
And I can say quite clearly that on May 9th I was one person. On May 10th I was
another. On May 11th I was a third. On May 12th I’m yet another. And there’s
literally happening, as Big Alexander likes to call it, some kind of mutation and
transformation. That is, I don’t understand how much time has passed. I don’t
understand what time it is now. Clearly, I can look at the clock, but at the same
time I’m precisely in an intoxication — there’s no other way to call it. That is,
when I’m not talking with anyone, it seems to subside. But today, for example, I
had a call with the publishing house. And when I was talking with the publishing
house, with the woman, then that’s it — I’m in focus, I’m super collected. As if
I’m some kind of entity altogether. But then, simply when the conversation ends,
I understand that I’ve flown off somewhere again, dropped even further, and it
all intensified so much. And acquaintances, friends also feel this state of mine,
even through text, when I write to someone, or through audio recordings.
I don’t want to jam this in any way. I sit, eat sweets, and drink water. Probably,
if I drank some Thai tea now, some super-strong one, it might help, or if I
poured myself 100 grams of whiskey, but I don’t want to. Also unusual — I don’t
want to, and I’m trying to grow accustomed, to adapt to this state I’m feeling
now. And so I decided that since I’m so “cosmic,” in the Spirit… It really is so.