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[Alexandr Korol]

and He is also justice and fairness. And since He said that your time has already
run out, that how long can you go on slacking, that everyone around runs after
you, tells you about it, and you know it yourself. And you think that everything
will just go on like this? No, you’re being told concretely right now: it’s either
now or never.” She answers that no, that won’t suit her. And then she argues
with me the way egoists defend themselves: that she’ll live according to her
own liking, however she wants; that if God wants her to be a slacker, then she’s
a slacker; if God wants her not to be a slacker, then she won’t be a slacker. I tell
her: “No, there’s no need to shove it all off onto God. That you can let everything
drift, and so you bear no responsibility for anything, so you have no choice, and
everything’s however you please, and it’s all from God. That’s not so. That’s not
true.” And she also refers to the fact that some God there told me something there.
And she presents it all in such a way, right up to saying that she isn’t going to
listen either to any God or to me — that is, exactly like that. I give her an example:
here’s an English university. I’m some representative of it, a professor. And so
five years ago I came to you and said: “Sima, you’re a genius, we can give you a
Nobel Prize, you could save the world, invent new medicines. Come on, knock it
off with the drinking, smoking, sitting on social media, and wandering off who
knows where. Come with us, to all the brilliant, talented people like you, so that
we can unlock your potential.” And you said: “Oh, I’ve got things to do, I’m busy,
I have plans” — and that was that. And so they waited for you and waited, and you
brushed everyone off. And now I, the professor, have been sent to you again five
years later, and the head man who runs this university in England asked me to tell
you personally, right to your face. And these aren’t my words, but his, the boss’s:
if you now, my dear girl, behave the same way and don’t come to the university,
to us professors, to unlock your potential — then there’ll be no more chances.
Never. No one will wait for you.

In the end I see that Serafima inside is genuine, as if she’s really like my soul,
like a copy of me — inside she’s like that. But she’s so afraid of all this real, aware
life, and always runs away from it so much, that it even reminded me of the film
about the Avatar, the master of the elements, who ran away at the beginning of the
film. He first disappeared, after all, because he got upset: he has some mission,
he mustn’t start a family, something else. He wanted to be like a human and