Page 745
Posted: Thu Sep 17, 2026 9:12 am
from each of these places a ray goes into me. From above into my head, as if I’m
standing at each of these places of power. And I imagine that all this energy goes
through the body into the knee, but at that moment I imagine that I’m him, that
is, my friend. And he begins to feel how energy, just like a waterfall, douses him
over his whole body, inside, outside — something’s bubbling. And this happens
in a second, I did nothing for it. I tell him: “I feel such power, like once before
in childhood. I have such clarity that it’s as if I can now think about any person,
and he’ll feel me.” “It’s as if I don’t feel my body.” He says: “Yes.” And then over
the course of several hours he speaks about how it’s as if we’re not breathing. I
say: “Yes.” He says: “As if there’s no breathing, we’re not breathing at all.” I say:
“Yes.” He asks: “What is this?” And there are no thoughts at all, just some flow
of energy going into the head, as if some waterfall is dousing you. I’m beginning
to feel it again now. And the body becomes so light — all your pinched nerve
endings, vessels, joints, I don’t know what it’s called, I’m not a doctor, but it’s as
if all of it relaxed. And in general, everywhere you have aches, everything begins
to heal and be restored. And my friend and I felt the body the way we hadn’t felt
it in very, very many years, the way it’s supposed to be when there’s not a single
tension anywhere, as if the body dissolved altogether. But at the same time we’re
doing nothing, simply standing at the bar table facing each other, talking and
listening to music. The music becomes super-volumetric, as if I myself am this
music, as if it’s inside me and around me, every music track, no matter what genre
and direction. But all the same, what resonated most was the music I originally
listened to when I was starting to write books: that’s Thom Yorke. Thom Yorke
resonated most. Such little songs, of course, as “Mad World,” Yann Tiersen, all
so kind, Thom Yorke’s tracks are kind. Although anything else too, when I put on
rock, alternative, it all resonated as well. But something more, something less —
and what resonated more was precisely classical music. I have a playlist like that,
it’s called History. And the music I call languorous, nameless, also resonated — but
also not all of it, not the super-grim kind, but rather Thom Yorke. Some UNKLE
tracks, some Thom Yorke tracks.
And then my friend says: “But this isn’t that Spirit that always used to come
before.” He’d seen many different spirits, and he says: “This isn’t the Spirit of
Justice, and it isn’t the Spirit when there’s such intoxication and heat in the body.”
standing at each of these places of power. And I imagine that all this energy goes
through the body into the knee, but at that moment I imagine that I’m him, that
is, my friend. And he begins to feel how energy, just like a waterfall, douses him
over his whole body, inside, outside — something’s bubbling. And this happens
in a second, I did nothing for it. I tell him: “I feel such power, like once before
in childhood. I have such clarity that it’s as if I can now think about any person,
and he’ll feel me.” “It’s as if I don’t feel my body.” He says: “Yes.” And then over
the course of several hours he speaks about how it’s as if we’re not breathing. I
say: “Yes.” He says: “As if there’s no breathing, we’re not breathing at all.” I say:
“Yes.” He asks: “What is this?” And there are no thoughts at all, just some flow
of energy going into the head, as if some waterfall is dousing you. I’m beginning
to feel it again now. And the body becomes so light — all your pinched nerve
endings, vessels, joints, I don’t know what it’s called, I’m not a doctor, but it’s as
if all of it relaxed. And in general, everywhere you have aches, everything begins
to heal and be restored. And my friend and I felt the body the way we hadn’t felt
it in very, very many years, the way it’s supposed to be when there’s not a single
tension anywhere, as if the body dissolved altogether. But at the same time we’re
doing nothing, simply standing at the bar table facing each other, talking and
listening to music. The music becomes super-volumetric, as if I myself am this
music, as if it’s inside me and around me, every music track, no matter what genre
and direction. But all the same, what resonated most was the music I originally
listened to when I was starting to write books: that’s Thom Yorke. Thom Yorke
resonated most. Such little songs, of course, as “Mad World,” Yann Tiersen, all
so kind, Thom Yorke’s tracks are kind. Although anything else too, when I put on
rock, alternative, it all resonated as well. But something more, something less —
and what resonated more was precisely classical music. I have a playlist like that,
it’s called History. And the music I call languorous, nameless, also resonated — but
also not all of it, not the super-grim kind, but rather Thom Yorke. Some UNKLE
tracks, some Thom Yorke tracks.
And then my friend says: “But this isn’t that Spirit that always used to come
before.” He’d seen many different spirits, and he says: “This isn’t the Spirit of
Justice, and it isn’t the Spirit when there’s such intoxication and heat in the body.”