Page 770
Posted: Thu Sep 17, 2026 9:19 am
I talked at night with Big Alexander, began to tell him that I don’t understand
which Spirit I am — that I’m now one, now another, and can’t yet find the
distinctions, the differences. And which of them is the main Spirit. I give him
the example that there’s the Spirit when I’m as if in some intoxication, as if
someone speaks something through me. And an insane force, like hypnosis,
and if someone’s near me, I’m as if inside his head, and the same voice is in his
head, and in my head. And then, when it ends, we don’t even understand how
much time has passed, and we may not even remember what the conversation
was about. And one can, as an example, consider this Spirit the main one. And
there’s another Spirit, which I’ve had this last week, when, on the contrary, there’s
clarity. There’s no intoxication, there’s none of that where something shines into
my head with some kind of ray, but simply clarity, as if I’m here and now, as if
I’m not breathing at all. Super-attentiveness. One can consider this the main
Spirit too. And I don’t understand which of them is the main one. Big Alexander
said that both the one and the other — all of these are main spirits. And he says:
“There are seven spirits that you now become at times. These are all main spirits.
It’s simply that in different worlds there’s a different Spirit, and that’s it. But in
each world in which it exists, it’s the main one.” And then he says: “Who sits in
the eighth corner? God.” And this is already what I’m heading towards. Whereas
right now I’m now one Spirit, now another, now a third, one of the seven. And
I have to work it out, see the difference, what the distinction is between one
Spirit and another. And he said that in the future I’m to become this one who’s
in the eighth corner. And the one who’s in the eighth corner is already precisely
God. And he tells me that right now I’m 25% God. But when my birthday passes
in September, another 50% will be added, and I’ll already become 75% God.
That’s what he said. But when I heard this, I immediately had this association:
uh-oh-oh, because if right now I’m 25% God, then it means that right now
society is 25% destroyed — that is, the old world. And since a further 50% will
be added after my birthday, after September, then what, society — that is, the old
world — will collapse by a further 50%? What is it that’s going to happen? And
reflections about this frighten me a little. Again, one shouldn’t take all of this too
literally. It all goes carefully and harmoniously. Big Alexander and I conversed
about this. After the conversation, I didn’t sleep for a few more hours and
opened the alchemical pictures where precisely the seven planets are depicted.
which Spirit I am — that I’m now one, now another, and can’t yet find the
distinctions, the differences. And which of them is the main Spirit. I give him
the example that there’s the Spirit when I’m as if in some intoxication, as if
someone speaks something through me. And an insane force, like hypnosis,
and if someone’s near me, I’m as if inside his head, and the same voice is in his
head, and in my head. And then, when it ends, we don’t even understand how
much time has passed, and we may not even remember what the conversation
was about. And one can, as an example, consider this Spirit the main one. And
there’s another Spirit, which I’ve had this last week, when, on the contrary, there’s
clarity. There’s no intoxication, there’s none of that where something shines into
my head with some kind of ray, but simply clarity, as if I’m here and now, as if
I’m not breathing at all. Super-attentiveness. One can consider this the main
Spirit too. And I don’t understand which of them is the main one. Big Alexander
said that both the one and the other — all of these are main spirits. And he says:
“There are seven spirits that you now become at times. These are all main spirits.
It’s simply that in different worlds there’s a different Spirit, and that’s it. But in
each world in which it exists, it’s the main one.” And then he says: “Who sits in
the eighth corner? God.” And this is already what I’m heading towards. Whereas
right now I’m now one Spirit, now another, now a third, one of the seven. And
I have to work it out, see the difference, what the distinction is between one
Spirit and another. And he said that in the future I’m to become this one who’s
in the eighth corner. And the one who’s in the eighth corner is already precisely
God. And he tells me that right now I’m 25% God. But when my birthday passes
in September, another 50% will be added, and I’ll already become 75% God.
That’s what he said. But when I heard this, I immediately had this association:
uh-oh-oh, because if right now I’m 25% God, then it means that right now
society is 25% destroyed — that is, the old world. And since a further 50% will
be added after my birthday, after September, then what, society — that is, the old
world — will collapse by a further 50%? What is it that’s going to happen? And
reflections about this frighten me a little. Again, one shouldn’t take all of this too
literally. It all goes carefully and harmoniously. Big Alexander and I conversed
about this. After the conversation, I didn’t sleep for a few more hours and
opened the alchemical pictures where precisely the seven planets are depicted.