Page 167

[Alexandr Korol]

must be something unpleasant in the future. Then I realised that in this society. I mean, it was so sweet, this time. I understood that it is such a friend, that this is my Mother of God, that this part of me. I also see through everybody. I know everything about everything, but only with my mind. And I even started to think that maybe the one who is up there wants me to develop my mind so that I can know everything, what to do and how to do it without the help of some higher powers. I don’t know, maybe that’s why I’ve always been sucked into society, dragged in, pushed in. And maybe now I’ve just left it and I’m doing a bad job of leaving it. Maybe I should pump myself up again.

I wrote above that it’s like I’m being squeezed by something. Seriously. Like something is muting me and making it so I can’t write what I want to write. What the heck is that? It’s like someone is getting into my head and trying to dull me or knock me down or distract me. Can you imagine that?
I mean, why am I describing all this? I am just telling you about different versions of myself, different versions of angles and different versions of everything. There is no certainty and there is no clarity; there is no concrete choice yet. Everything is still in question. I am just going to tell you various interesting things that happen to me while I am being digested by something somewhere, by the system into something, or being transformed or mutated. I’m this and that. I have different thoughts. But they are all unique, scientific and interest- ing, and all about discovery. But I don’t understand where I’m supposed to be, and it’s like I’m glitching. It’s like when you turn on your computer and it has two pop-up windows; one opens, the other opens, and they overlap. That’s the mode I’m in right now.

The first thing I realised was that it was boring for me to stay in society. There is nothing for me to do. I don’t feel like looking after people or making money. I am not interested in that. It would be great to lock myself up, go into my “cosmos” and experiment with energy control and attention management . When I thought about it, I realised that I could do it. I remembered my energy and attention capacity when I was shut down. I can do something with my energy by using my attention, but it is weak. But when you are connected to the system, to nature, I don’t mean the material world. We might get confused here and not