I felt “Them” even at school as a kid. I had no idea who it was. But I knew that they existed, and I often just went ahead and spoke to someone up there. You know how in the movies they show people praying or talking to heaven: “What do you want from me?”.Well, I had this. I had such a conscience that if I did something and no one was around, I knew this did not mean no one saw it. I always understood it, felt it, knew it. I accepted myself as I am. Each of you has a chance to get help from “Them”. But this should not be from your contrived mind. At first, you should not want it with your mind. It has to be so that you just believe it. Always take into account what “They” are. That you will go for a walk tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. Or you are sitting on the toilet, or you are driving in a car, and you understand that now they know what you are thinking. Where your attention is. What you want, they all know it. And the bottom line is that when you start living like this, treating it like they are there all the time, you begin to realize it. Believe in it. And they will feel it, and you will light up like a light bulb like I lit up. Are you with me? I was glowing. People in society are all closed tight; they all walk like zombies. And since childhood, I understood that I wasn’t “sleeping.” I am sober, aware. And that’s why, for me, there are people, you are people, and there is me. I felt it clearly; I felt my position and the position of people. Here I am; there are those who are above, and there are people. But I understood that I am not part of these people since I see them from the outside. People don’t see themselves from the outside; people don’t see anything at all. I ask people sometimes:
– Do you think I’m kind of weird?
– Not really.
– Really? So, I look like a normal guy?
– Well, yes. Alex, you look like an ordinary guy. Even too well – with a hint of “I’m cool.”
– I see. And there is no such feeling that I am somehow different?
– Not really.
– You don’t understand what I’m talking about? OK, let’s close the conversation. The catch is that people still feel it. No matter how much I am in society, people feel that I am an alien, no matter how much I dress as a human. It would be OK if they felt that I was an alien, but they have an association that I’m some kind of weirdo in the bad sense of the word.