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[Alexandr Korol]

But it’s the same as when you’re making a table out of wood. And if you’re doing it with the goal of simply making a table the way you envision it — beautiful, perfect, in your own understanding — then that’s all you should be focused on. And that’s when you’ll make it real, from the heart, when you make that table. But if you haven’t even made it yet, and your focus isn’t on the soul and feeling and how to make it high-quality and perfect, but you’re already thinking about how to sell it — then that’s not it. That’s not a creative approach anymore, I’d say. So how could I have had thoughts about quitting if I never set a goal to be a writer? I wrote when I wrote. When I stopped, I stopped. But I never had the kind of attitude like, “I quit, now I need to force myself to write again.” No, I never felt anything like that at all.

Let’s put it this way, okay — let me give you a parallel example with photography. Back then, I had a camera. If you asked me, “Alexandr, were there days when you just couldn’t take photos?” I’d probably say, “There were a lot of days like that.” More precisely, I was just busy with something else. Let me put it differently: there were simply days of inspiration, when I felt like grabbing the camera and going outside. And when I felt that — then I did it. How many times was that? Maybe ten times in one year, maybe a hundred in another. I didn’t give it much thought — it just happened on its own. And it was the same with writing books. One month I could write every day, and the next I might not write at all for an entire month. And today, if I felt I didn’t want to write, then why would I force myself? That’s how it is for me. If I want something else, then I want something else. If I want this — then I want this. Okay. So when you listed things like “periods when you wanted to write, didn’t want to write, maybe thought it wasn’t worth it, doubts” — I didn’t do any of it falsely. I’m sorry if that sounds harsh, but that’s how it is. Not “false” in the sense of being fake, but you know when someone tells a person, “You’re off- key” or “You’re faking it”? That’s what I mean. Faking it — when you’re forcing it, making things up, cutting corners. When you’re not doing something with ease, and your own thoughts start creeping in like parasites and ruining everything. I didn’t have that. Doubts? About what? I wasn’t doing anything artificial. I don’t know. Everything’s always been simple for me. Didn’t memorize a poem, came to class the next day, teacher asks, “Are you ready?”