I say, “No.” “Why?” And I honestly admit: “I even read it ten times before bed. I just can’t remember a single line. I don’t know why, I can’t focus. Give me a two. I tried, I spent the whole day on it.” And you know what’s interesting? The teacher wouldn’t give me a two for that sincerity. She liked that I didn’t lie — unlike others. And she’d say — she’d be shocked at first, of course — but she’d say, “Alright, next time, okay?” You think teachers and people don’t see when you’re lying? When, say, some other classmate of mine would say, “This and that happened,” making something up. I never had that. I can’t lie or invent things. Everything with me is always very direct, open, sincere. You love — then you love. If something’s unpleasant — it’s unpleasant. If you’re tired, you just say, “Guys, sorry, I’m stepping away from the table, I’m tired.” I don’t have that — betraying myself, my soul, just to please someone or to convince myself of something. I don’t have that at all. My mind and thoughts work in a completely different way. I use my mind only where it’s truly needed — where it’s necessary to identify a cause-and-effect connection, where pure logic is required. That kind of mind I have. But I don’t have “cockroaches in the head.” And “cockroaches in the head” are real — a major noise and interference that prevent many people from figuring things out. Because one minute they want this, the next they want that, and they start making things up, trying to appear better. But why try to appear better when you can just be yourself? And accept all your strengths and weaknesses, your advantages and flaws. But you see, everyone has their own stage of development, their own phase. I have mine, someone else has theirs. So you asked me that question from your world — because in your world, apparently, things like that exist: “Maybe I should give up? Maybe it’s not worth it?” or phases when you don’t feel like writing. You asked me that — why? Because that’s how it is in your world. That means you’ve had that experience, and you thought to ask whether I had too, and maybe I’d share how I got through it. But for me — truly — I don’t have anything like that. I don’t know what that is. I mean, I understand it through other people, but it’s not part of how I live. I never learned it. It’s just how I am by nature.
Question: Alexandr, can you recall once more and describe in your own words that state you were in near the Church of Peter and Paul, when you and the girl held hands and repeated the numbers that the messenger had written to you?