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[Alexandr Korol]

“Vasya, take your hand out of your pants,” and you freeze up, hold your breath — and then the TV just keeps going: “Today’s weather forecast...” and you think: “What? Who? How? What was that?” And you, Vasya, you’re so spooked you can’t sleep, you try to tell someone and no one believes you — but it really happened. And that kind of thing happened to me many times, only not through a TV. And what’s most interesting is that this happened not only when someone entered into another person and spoke to me through them, but also the other way around — when someone entered me and spoke to someone else through me. And what’s amazing is that it was always different. Like, if someone wanted to commit a crime, something would suddenly activate inside me, beyond my control, and speak a few words to them — words so powerful that they’d get so scared they’d never again think of doing anything bad. And afterwards, I’d wonder: how did that happen? That wasn’t me. Who was it? Can you imagine? But someone could speak through me like that. Or the opposite could happen: someone was feeling down, but they had a lot of potential and a big heart, and then a voice through me would say something kind, a few encouraging words, and that person would light up and their life would take off. What is that? And I understand that it wasn’t me speaking. But also, it always happened that... Well, I never did harm to anyone — but in a positive sense, it would be like this: I just couldn’t control it, and I could randomly give money to a stranger or someone I barely knew, or give a gift, or help in some way. And people would get scared, ask: “Why are you doing this? What do you want in return?” And I’d answer: “Nothing.” And I couldn’t explain it, I couldn’t control it — it didn’t make any logical sense. Because back then I was still young, and I’d think, “This is strange — I’d be better off helping my mom,” logically speaking. But instead, I was helping random people. Why, right? And it wasn’t me doing it, it was the system. That was the period when this happened. But that’s exactly what “they” are. And so back in 2008–2009, it all started — when I began to feel that aside from my own thinking, there was someone else, some other kind of thinking too, if I can put it that way. Let’s say, for example, right now I’m sitting at a table, and imagine this: you’re sitting across from me and you ask, “Alexandr, let’s build our own boat together, and then do tours on it around Petersburg.” And so you propose that to me. And then what? And I say silently to the voice: