Page 822

[Alexandr Korol]

In the second volume, there was this particular moment on Friday the 13th of October when I felt that the Spirit within me was different. A very unusual feeling: an overwhelming clarity, an overwhelming silence in the head, and as if everything is so clean and quiet, and you are completely at peace. And it feels like you’re a fly with a thousand eyes, like you are hyper-aware and see everything. You sense everything everywhere, as if you are everywhere, and yet you are completely at peace. Completely. Even the first Spirit, in comparison — there you feel things like empathy toward people, or love, or infatuation. There are still some of those kinds of feelings, but you’re also in a vacuum, in a fog, mindless. But this other one, you’re not foggy at all. Here you’re like a predator, but not evil, not irritated, not tense, but rather radiating an insane fearlessness.

Yes, I remember how I described it — fearlessness. That’s really the only way to describe it: fearlessness, as if you yourself are fear. That’s how I put it at the time. That’s why you can’t feel fear or experience it somewhere inside, because you are the very source of it. And yet, at the same time, you are incredibly calm and at peace. It feels like adrenaline — but not in the sense of physical excitement or body activation. More like you’re a kind of invincible super soldier who could get on a motorcycle, race off at insane speed, then jump out with a parachute, then something else — just like that. As if someone gives you a target, and you go. No heat, no cold, no warmth — just this mindset. And I was feeling all of this, and it was Friday the 13th, and I didn’t understand what it was. I called Big Alexander, and he tells me: “That’s the Spirit of Justice.” I was like — what? He goes, “Yeah, that’s the Spirit of Justice.” And I started to notice what I wanted to watch or listen to, like I was trying to find some imprint of this world I had entered, this Spirit — what it resonated with. And I wanted to watch action movies. Or movies like Daredevil — there’s that film with Ben Affleck. That kind of music and that kind of atmosphere, like you’re fearless and you are justice. And honestly, justice really does fit. I said to Big Alexander, “It feels like maybe this is actually a dark force — maybe it’s Satan?” He replied:

– No, this is the Spirit of Justice. And try to memorize this Spirit, record it in your mind so you’ll be able to call upon it again. So you’ll be able to return to this state — capture it.