incredible enchantment that leads to wonderful, almost miraculous outcomes. But this happens only in the world of heaven. It goes as far as this: if I find myself in a hotel room — since right now I’m a bit of a nomad, which I’ll explain later — and I have no drinking water there, yet I feel thirsty, then I simply go out to get water. It’s simple and logical. And here, there’s no idea that I should have planned ahead, stressed out, calculated that I would need water, bought it, and set it aside. And then, if I forgot, I’d be seen as careless or unprepared. In the world of heaven, there is no such thing. What’s “unplanned” is actually good. And the beauty is in how this system, this nature, guides me. Maybe the moment I run out of water and step outside, I’ll just happen to meet someone important. That’s the wonder of it. And in general — though not always, and saying it this way is a bit too blunt and doesn’t capture the nuance — but it feels almost like you want to say “yes” to everything. Like in that movie “Yes Man”. Of course, that’s not the perfect comparison, because in the world of heaven you live by your feelings — you sometimes say “no,” and sometimes “yes.” But still, there’s this sensation that you can trust this world so completely that you feel ready to say “yes” to everything. That’s a very unusual state.
And I also began to remember that people usually choose a T-shirt, pants, an armchair, a backpack with their mind, relying on brand, name, price, all that mental calculation. But earlier, I wrote about this in my books when I described my childhood, and now I am returning to the same thing again, earlier, the way I now recall it, I used to say that if I chose a T-shirt, I chose it with feelings. Just as if it was glowing, I wanted it, that’s all, this one. And I didn’t even care who was depicted on it. And earlier I could, imagine, wear a T-shirt, I had such a moment, an incident, that in 2010, it seems, I wore a white T-shirt. And only later, after some time, someone told me: “You have Thom Yorke on your T-shirt”. And I said: “What?” I didn’t even know, because I had chosen it as if it were a painting. Just something splashed on it, like a drawing. The T-shirt was white, and it had a collar, sleeves, and the whole form of it, let’s say, with its color and everything, its entire harmony suited me, and I chose it. But I did not delve into what it was called, who made it, or even who was depicted.