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[Alexandr Korol]

I expected him to say, naturally, to trust this state, but he says neither this
way nor that way; rather, that I should try both and draw some conclusions,
and then a kind of, let’s say, fine-tuning will occur. He used some complex
language, but I’ll put it in my own terms: he says:

— Stay in ‘space’ for a bit. If you want, please, dive into society, then you’ll
return to space again and understand for yourself what’s comfortable for you,
and so on.

Well, it’s as if it’s all just like that — based on feelings, on sensations, that
everything is allowed, but I have to adapt to it myself somehow. And as
for me? I, of course... Always do everything the opposite of most people.
Any other person after that conversation would probably have met someone
immediately or run off into society, into the hustle and bustle. But I did
the opposite: I put my phone away; I don’t even want to communicate with
anyone. It’s as if I started intensifying this state for myself even more. And
all day I didn’t talk to anyone on the phone, didn’t communicate with anyone
for work. I used the phone a little, maybe for an hour, and that’s it. Just me
with myself. And the most interesting thing is this “me with myself” —
I have such a dialogue going on with myself, I resolve everything with myself.
It’s like some crazy re-evaluation of life. I discuss every single moment,
I ask myself, I answer myself, I argue with myself, I clarify some details with
myself. And so all day I’m just talking with myself. All day.

And regarding that last long conversation with Mystic-Old-Man, I just wanted
to capture that state of a vacuum I was in — that state in the Spirit. And when
I was talking with Mystic-Old-Man, it was so unusual, as if we were sitting
opposite each other and as if nothing at all was distracting us; neither he had
thoughts, nor did I — only consciousness. And so we talked as if endlessly,
as if it were super-super long. It’s so funny how he gets frightened, afraid
to interfere, to push himself into everything I’m “pushing” him into. You
see, he cannot say who I am. And the most interesting thing... What do
you think? When I told Big Alexander all of this, do you think he said who
I am? No. He says: “You understand, you yourself know who you are.”