And if we go back now to one more parallel moment in my life… That is — right now is the silence, fine; 144 of someone have been chosen, fine; I am no longer in the moon but in the world of the sun, fine; I am deciphering the matrix, fine. The system has also been highlighting to me the word “thunder” these past few days. I don’t know why, what for. I looked it up — in the Bible, too, there is mention of thunder. Maybe it is what is about to happen — but again, this shouldn’t be taken too literally. But it really is, right now, the lull before the storm.
And one more thing I am coming to know, that I am passing through as an examination, is this: that when I ended up in the world of the sun — specifically, on the earth — I feel that this is such a light and good world, and that here everything is fine and beautiful. This is definitely not the moon — this is precisely the world of the sun — and I, just as I had freed myself from the world of the moon, must also free myself from the world of the sun and go further, and become this star. So far, everything seems fine. But I was amazed — how can this be? When I was in the world of the moon, I did not feel as bad as I do in the world of the sun. Because in the world of the sun, my heart simply whimpers to the point of madness — which amazed me. That is — I am, supposedly, in a light, good world, in the world of the sun — and yet a crazy loneliness is just tearing me apart from inside. I don’t understand what this is and why. I supposed earlier — fine, maybe it’s simply that in the world of the sun, since the world of the sun is the world of family, it is impossible to be alone here — because loneliness makes you feel terrible; there is no loneliness in this world, and you have to be with someone. And if you are with someone, then everything will be alright. And further on, I was supposing: probably I have to start a family, because thoughts and feelings like this are being broadcast directly to me — I want a family, children, a dog. Then I begin to understand — what for? If I have to free myself from this world of the sun, that is, if I have to go further, into the world of the star. Then it all comes around again to the fact that, from all sides, there are signs — and Big Alexander confirms this and says that no, I do, after all, have to meet someone, and that I have to have someone. And right now I will be making some attempts, and the system will be recording everything — what I like in whom, what I don’t like in whom — and they will give me someone who will fit me completely, in accordance with my requirements, with my psyche, with my soul.