they want to see and hear. But at the same time, I do not forget my “cosmos” and just sit down in the evenings and nights to write my books, to solve something. And who would have thought that when I started immersing myself in such a society, building relationships, getting a dog and buying a car, that it would suck me right in? That I would become human and all the miracles would disappear. Obviously my intellect – that was all I had. It absorbed this society in an interesting way. I took it apart and learned how it worked, every person and everything. So the intellect is there, but there is no magic; there is no such thing as living with your heart as if you were in love. And there is no power to guide you as if you were just learning to understand this world with your brain. And it really makes your mind boil. And then I was thrown out of it once. Again, why it kicked me out, why it kicked me out, but maybe it’s the right thing to do. And suddenly there was no relationship, no car, no house, nothing, just “zero”. And I’m in the “corridor”, wow. And suddenly, it’s only in that moment that you realise that I’ve forgotten everything. That I had messengers in 2010 and that I’m not an ordinary person, that there’s a power behind me. And here I was, about to have children and sitting in front of the TV like everyone else, what a fool I am. And, imagine, I sobered up, but only when everything fell apart. Society almost sucked me in.
And so it sucked me in, then I jumped out. Then it sucked me in again, and then I jumped out again. I didn’t know what they wanted me to do. And whether it was intentional or not. And I felt that it was not me who was as bad and naughty as you people, but that I was getting into this society myself. It’s nothing like that. It’s a higher power. It was the power itself that put me there and blocked this “cosmos” for me so that I forget what magic is. It’s like it erases everything from your mind and you just go back to being a stupid vegetable like everyone else, and then once again everything is remembered and everything is turned on. And then I realise I’m back in this society. I realise that I feel as if these miracles are already being washed away. I can still feel you, the readers. We’re all still connected. I feel you really, but in a mist. I feel like I don’t feel you. That it’s like half of you is just out, you know, like people, it’s all a sweet fog, a numbness. All your consciousness, your awareness is just gone. You’re becoming couch potatoes again. And I realise that we have to do something about it. I said maybe I need to be in society, because I was told that I have such a long holidays and that