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[Alexandr Korol]

it so clearly when I was 19, that I could leave twice as much money in a cafe and just walk away immediately, just to avoid engaging with the person who wanted my attention. I even remember writing in some rough drafts that I would spend a lot of money to protect my attention, to keep my state of harmony. Because provocations are everywhere, and my approach was that even if a person was wrong, accusing me of something, saying I owed them five thousand rubles, I would immediately give them ten thousand rubles and say, “I’m the bad one,” and then just go about my business, but only to avoid falling into their trap. That’s how I used to act. But most people react differently: if someone accuses you and you know you’re right, you start trying to prove it, and that it’s not about the money, but about your rights. And that’s it — you fall into that cursed world, and you become just as bad as they are. That’s the whole point. And I remember how I described in my early drafts — that’s the interesting part, where I started and where I’m returning to — I said that I live by the heart, that everything I feel, all my thoughts, desires, and emotions are true because I am connected to God, to nature. And I lived like that, everything was good, as if I was in complete safety with one hundred percent faith, no mistakes, no emergencies. Even if some things happened, it was clear they were provocations from outside, but everything was perfect. When I described all this, many readers wanted to live like that too, to be themselves and live by their heart. But when they started to fully trust themselves, all their thoughts and feelings were not theirs and not from God, but from the devil. And they immediately began — what? When they let go of control over themselves, they became not angels but devils. Figuratively speaking, there is, for example, a good person now who is tense, lacks faith, and controls everything. He’s afraid to dedicate every day fully to painting, to painting dogs every day. He wants to, but he’s afraid, he lacks faith, and he thinks he has to be like everyone else, afraid and just surviving. And to such a person, you want to say: “Listen to your heart, and everything will work out,” and he would become a great artist. And you see, there are other people in whom a dark force dwells. If you tell such a person, “Listen, be yourself, do what your heart desires,” then maybe the next day they’ll strip naked and start wandering through parks, bothering people, you understand? And they’ll say that this is what they want, what their heart and mind tell them, but you see, they are connected to the devil. Or some foolish thought might come to their mind,