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[Alexandr Korol]

And I don’t know how the eleventh volume will end. Maybe it will end simply
by breaking off at the place where I recommend the film, and after it that’s all,
a blank. Or maybe it will be with an explanation of how I understood this film
and why it was shown to me. Maybe I’ll add some information at the end of the
eleventh volume. That is, I’ll now be rereading and editing it anew, so as to
understand where it ends and where, possibly, the twelfth volume begins. I don’t
understand. The voice, and this is the most interesting thing, doesn’t tell me what
comes next. But I know why. I’ve told about this many times already in different
books: one can’t know everything at once, because it affects you now, today’s
you. That is, imagine if, let’s say, I knew that there would be a twelfth volume
as well. Possibly this would have affected the speed, the motivation for writing
the eleventh volume. And I would have begun writing it more slowly. Also, let’s
suppose, regarding the move. Maybe it’s an illusion that I have to move, made so
that I would already be sitting on my suitcases, and because of this I already have
a different code, as if I’m nowhere. That is, uncertainty. I am nowhere right now.
And maybe the secret is in this. And then it will turn out that there’s no need to
move anywhere, but that I must always be in expectation… Yes, yes, tomorrow
I’ll move. And maybe the whole point is only in this. And if the voice tells me now
that I’m not moving anywhere, then everything will change at once: my attitude
to myself, to time, to everything at the present moment of time, everything will
change. You see? And it, this voice, doesn’t say what comes next, this is very
unusual. That is, it doesn’t say whether there will be a twelfth volume. It doesn’t
say whether there will be a new book, it doesn’t say. Possibly something else will
be revealed when I now start rereading this whole eleventh volume anew and
suddenly notice something and decipher something. And maybe not. I don’t
understand. I don’t know. And everything could turn over in one instant, in one
day. But it’s something of a kind that they don’t tell me. Precisely something
important, because if it didn’t affect my mood and state right now, yes, then they
would have told me it. But it’s some sort of information that isn’t told, otherwise
it will knock me out of my rut. And since they aren’t telling me this yet, it means
that I still have to be in the rut I’m in right now. But when the time comes, they’ll
tell me, and then I’ll change at once because of it. That’s why for now they don’t
tell me about the future, where I should go or when to go, and what to do next.
That is, at the present moment of time all I know now is that I’m simply listening